Message from the front:
1) The Germans are really being ordered to retreat by their High Command. Unfortunately our spies have been too successful at infiltrating, so the order is in Russian, and their maps are the wrong way round, so they keep retreating eastwards.
2)The Germans have found a use for the copious amounts of hot air generated: Air Fleet Kiel is to be Zeppelin based.
3)The sneaky English have managed to outlast the austrians by prolonging weekends to 7 days. The French won't attack at the weekend, and the Germans keep heading west the wrong way.
4) The mission to assassinate the german leader and install a Fresh Kaiser has fallen foul of german grammar.
Tzar Nigs
Date: Fri, 23 Apr 2010 09:25:56 +0100
Subject: DC317; The German War Cabinet in session
From: douglasefresh(at)googlemail.com
To: brn2dip(at)yahoo.com
CC: dipknight(at)gmail.com; olson.gregoryscott(at)gmail.com; dadidea(at)gmail.com; MDemagogue(at)gmail.com; nephilli99(at)hotmail.com; phantomas13(at)orange.fr; blitz(at)diplomaticcorp.com; dc317(at)diplomaticcorp.com
Kaiser Fresh looked up from his desk, alarmed, as his adjutant opened the door - once again without knocking.
"The War Cabinet has arrived Sir!"
Hurriedly concealing a pamphlet entitled "
Diplomacy for Amateurs" beneath the muddle of papers, the Kaiser adopted an expression that he hoped appeared both stern and welcoming.
Admiral Turgidz and the others took their seats
"A message from the French, Sir!"
The Kaiser looked aghast;
"They haven't ruined the lawns again have they?!"
"No Sir, the French have abandoned that method of communication"
The Kaiser breathed a sigh of relief,
"Thank goodness! - My boots were ruined after stamping out the last one - what method have they adopted this time?"
The Adjutant looked mildly perplexed.
"Our code breakers are working on it now Sir - the French missive was written using the dismembered body parts of one of those sad clowns, scattered about the grounds of the Reichstag, Sir!"
"I really can't keep up with their fashions! - What do they say?"
"It's hard to tell Sir, but apparently the French are warning us against the dangers of making friends with ourselves, Sir"
The Kaiser frowned.
"They may well have a point ... There's only one thing for it!"
The War Cabinet looked on expectantly
"...We must capitulate to the Russians!"
The War Cabinet rolled it's collective eyes, then silently scowled at the adjutant until he felt compelled to respond;
"If I may Sir, Perhaps another line of strategy might be adopted this time... In any case, you know that every time we try to capitulate to the Russians, our Generals pretend they haven't received the order, Sir"
Admiral Turgidz butted in;
"There is also the urgent matter of our Fleet in the North Sea, Sir!"
Not to be outdone, Field Marshal Belcher piped up;
"And I trust you have a plan regarding the raising of a new army, Sir?"
At that, the Kaiser's eyes gleamed.
"Yes indeed Field Marshal! You must contact the factory in Kiel immediately and tell them.... to build an airforce!"
On Fri, Apr 23, 2010 at 2:12 AM, Packrat <brn2dip(at)yahoo.com> wrote:
Dateline Paris:
The French High Command while reviewing the most recent battle damage would like
to congratulate Germany on their wonderful subterfuge that has apparently put France
and Italy at odds. At least that appears to be the intention. And yet, at the same time
the FHC had to pause and laugh out loud at the poor follow through of it all.
When you play multiple countries against each other you really need to be sure all your
moves work. YES! BEL to BUR should have been a potentially crippling blow and yet
Italy and Germany failed on the follow through and all was a bounce fest. The idea is
a wonderful one - get each to cut and move on the other and sit back and pick up the
pieces while moving in for the kill.
So, Italy -
would you prefer to work with the amateur Kaiser - or a French leader who
can turn this back around? Either way - peace or war - beware of German friendship.
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