Catalonian Chronicle, 28 February, 1901
*COUNTDOWN TO WAR! Mobilisation of armies and fleets across our Continent!*
*Highly improbable intervention from arcane Eastern European god heralds imminent European bloodbath!*
*War poems start early!*
*Auction to be held of Grand Duke's treasured artifacts!*
*Teddy-bear diplomacy attempted by London mandarins!*
*Einführung des Deutsch sprechend Kriegskorrespondent, zum unvorsichtig
zu verwirren!*
Welcome to the third edition of your super Catalan Chronicle!
This is the final press release before the first move deadline, which is tomorrow (Monday 10 June) at 2000GMT. Make sure you get your final moves in to me in good time! Press will be published simultaneously with those moves. There is then one press deadline (Tuesday 2000GMT) before the Autumn moves, due Thursday.
We
are pleased to report the receipt of multiple telegrams from our
correspondents, and are delighted to publish these for you below.
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TREMBLE,
MORTALS! Hear the words of PERUN, God of War! This game is written in
the stars for those whose comprehension is beyond that of yours, puny
humans. Seven come to the table. The first to fall will determine the
final victor; two more will collapse while three will live to see the
ultimate victory of MY UNWILLING CHAMPION. So you all might as well
just surrender and give the solo to the King.
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Russia, England here. Nwy will get a fleet, not an army, unless you act foolishly by moving Mos-StP.
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My dreams are filled with dead children bodies,
piling up in sweet Europa.
I see their smiles, their futures,
that could have been.
I cry while I sleep now.
While awake I see headlines,
carefully constructed by the mass media
"Countdown to War"
Who owns the media?
Who wants more children to die?
More glory, more power for the chosen few.
Who are the chosen few?
Are they me?
Are they you?
Can I remain awake or is life a living nightmare?
Can I look myself in the eyes and knowing
that I am just standing by
while the world is falling into the abyss of darkness?
Deeper by day.
Do we dare risk anything
for our fellow brothers and sisters,
that are suffering in our world?
Do we dare be heroes and not just sit by as
bullets and shells rain over the poor benighted children?
As the children in Flanders
die like flies yet another winter?
As the children in Galicia
wait with fear in their heart
about what will happen next?
Can we really sleep without seeing those bodies
pile up in our sleepless dreams?
The eyes, the smiles
that will be
no more.
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The
untimely death of the Grand Duke of Smolensk has resulted in his assets
being sold off by the Emperor to fund the war effort. A great admirer
of history, his interested were wide-ranging, and among the bargains
which can be found in the Grand Duke's collection, like-minded persons
will find the following:
-An
authentic rock crusher used in the Silesian mines, formerly of the
Grand Duke's antique collection. The device was constructed in Milan by
Gabriel Reznicek, formerly of Prague, and serves as a symbol of Italian
ingenuity and enterprise growing in opposition to the Germanic
industrial complex.
-Roman
and Gallic swords taken from Alesia. Historians will recall that in
the year 52 BC, Cæsar's victory at Alesia turned the tide of the Gallic
Wars forever in favor of the Romans, and set the stage for Cæsar to
transition Rome from Republic to Empire.
-Letters
from the French writers Victor Hugo and Alexandre Dumas to Guiseppe
Garibaldi, concerning the topic of friendship between France and the
newly-born Italian Kingdom. Due to a clerical error in Switzerland, the
letters never arrived, but their discovery in 1880 sparked renewed
calls for a grand alliance between the two nations.
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Berlin
to London: Vi luv yur zili Eenglisch komedi, inkludin dis Been perzon.
Und ze teddi bar! Ach, zo funni! Vi kant ztop laafin in ze Reichstag
ver vi plan yur doom!
Berlin to Vienna: Unser Lieblingstier ist der Igel. Was ist Ihre?
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This concludes our latest edition of the Catalan Chronicle, we
hope you've enjoyed reading it. Please do send in your news stories, thoughts, dreams, ambitions, and reviews, however mendacious, for us all to enjoy.
Jerome (Editor)
